satire

Ep. 4 Wannabe Dictator pic.twitter.com/MDcs5g0gxB

We are constantly seeing and hearing our American media use the word "Regime" these days. So exactly what is a "Regime"? Apparently it is whatever you want it to be.

Whenever Wall Street and/or War Street want to vilify a country that disagrees with their policies of occupation and exploitation, they always begin their vilification program by calling that country's form of government a "Regime".

Here are some examples: Syria is a "Regime" -- even though it has a constitution, holds elections and almost all Syrians support its president, Bashar Assad. Gaddafi in Libya also operated a "Regime" -- even though his government offered the kind of free education and healthcare benefits to its citizens that most Americans can only dream about. Cuba was (and still is) considered a "Regime" in the eyes of Wall Street and War Street. Putin also runs a "Regime" -- even though most Russians today support him totally.

In reverse, Saudi Arabia is not a "Regime" -- even though the House of Saud uses torture, suppresses dissent, beheads people, treats women badly, brutally invades other countries and supports Al Qaeda and ISIS. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article41834.htm

The House of Saud has spent over a trillion $$$$ of its enormous petro-dollar wealth over the last half-century on killing people and being despotic. Just imagine what the Middle East would look like right now if the Saudis had chosen butter instead of guns. What a waste. And yet Saudi Arabia is still not considered to be a "Regime" by American media. /node/4421

Israel never gets called a "Regime" either -- even though it supplied Iran with weapons back when Khomeini was holding Americans hostage and it kills Palestinian children with impunity, foments wars whenever possible, runs secret torture prisons, is a neo-colonialist in the worst sort of way, appears to even be anti-Jewish, uses 9-11 to its advantage and has notoriously corrupt leaders. http://buchanan.org/blog/our-next-mideast-war-syria-15984

And now America seems to have become a "Regime" as well -- even though nobody ever dares to call it by that name. But if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

Here are at least ten reasons that cause me to suspect that Wall Street and War Street are running a "Regime" here in America too:

Reason No. 1: Torture. Black sites. Rendition. Indefinite detention of Americans. Stuff like that. Our tax dollars at work.

Reason No. 2: No one is ever allowed to examine (let alone question) election results or voting machines here in the USA. Remember GWB, for instance? Never legally won an election in his life! Or take those new voter restrictions that have suddenly become so popular in the Ol' South. You would expect something like that in the old Soviet Union or in the bad old days of Jim Crow -- but not here, not now. And yet here it is. http://evergreenedigest.org/bb-king-and-our-blatant-racial-revisionism-south-still-denies-roots-americas-music

No one is ever allowed to examine (let alone question) election results or voting machines here in the USA. Remember GWB, for instance? Never legally won an election in his life! Or take those new voter restrictions that have suddenly become so popular in the Ol' South. You would expect something like that in the old Soviet Union or in the bad old days of Jim Crow -- but not here, not now. And yet here it is.

Reason No. 3: Spying on its citizens. NSA. The Patriot Act. Snowden and Manning are being persecuted for spying -- while FaceBook, Google and NSA get a free pass. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/may/06/were-citizens-not-subjects-we-have-the-right-to-criticize-government-without-fear

Reason No. 4: Ferguson. Baltimore. Zuccotti Park. Oakland. Military tactics used to violently suppress the American underclass if they dare to complain that their jobs are all disappearing, their children's education sucks eggs and their tax dollars are being spent on military adventurism in foreign lands instead of on infrastructure here at home.

Reason No. 5: Congress! Government for sale. Widespread corruption. The Koch brothers' and K Street's yard sale of our politicians -- all bought on the cheap. A solder in Afghanistan once told me that, "The only difference between corrupt politicians in Afghanistan and corrupt politicians in America is that corrupt politicians in America pass laws to make their corruption legal and Afghan politicians do not." (Also see Reason No. 9)

Reason No. 6: No daycare! I just threw that in because I'm now babysitting my wonderful three-month-old granddaughter so that my daughter can go back to work. Even Iraq under Saddam Hussein had free daycare! Even Cuba under Castro.

And when Sofia goes off to kindergarten in five years, then I'll finally be able to go back to being a war correspondent again -- knowing for certain that the American "Regime" will still be subsidizing despots and Endless War in the Middle East even five years from now. What a waste.

Reason No. 7: Media suppression. You think that you might have some good ideas about telling truth to power around here? Then don't expect to get a job with the New York Times or the Washington Post any time soon. Shades of the old Pravda.

Reason No. 8: Cops and the military (again). Peaceful protests are suppressed here just like they are in Occupied Palestine. Rubber bullets and tear gas R Us! Our cops recently used tear gas on protesters even here in my own hometown. And then there are all those poor countries abroad that have been Blitzkriegged by our very own Luftwaffe and then invaded by our very own Storm Troopers. I could drone on and on about that!

Reason No. 9: Our Supreme Court. Scalia would feel right at home in Nigeria or Haiti. There's not a single corrupt corporate take-over that he doesn't like.

Reason No 10: Corporatism itself. Nazi Germany ran on "Corporatism". Hitler just loved handing out corporate welfare. And so do our so-called leaders. Nazi Germany was a "Regime". Perhaps America is too.

Amy Goodman interviews former economic hitman John Perkins. Click on above image to see
video on YouTube. Video cannot be embedded here.

I rest my case.

See Video of John Perkins - Hit Men, Jackals, and the Truth about Global Corruption

This article first published on Jane Stillwater's blog at http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/2015/05/american-regime-10-reasons-why-america.html)

Candobetter.net editor: Must Read! This is a brilliant and hilarious satire. Humour with a sting: Several people have asked me recently why I always seem to be writing about the Middle East. "Why don't you ever write about anything else?"

Of course I write about other stuff -- but the Middle East is so much more interesting and entertaining than anything else! The Middle East is definitely more interesting, entertaining and even weirder than any soap opera, reality show or action flick that Hollywood could ever produce. Fascinating stuff.

I'm always amazed that so few other Americans aren't just totally fascinated by the Middle East too. Or even that there isn't at least one daytime soap opera devoted solely to the subject -- if for no other reason than that the Middle East has some of the greatest villains of all time!

Take America, for instance. Our very own Wall Street and War Street are currently starring as top-billing major actors in the Middle East, playing in prime-time roles -- as the biggest villains in the script so far too. America practically invented ISIS, for goodness sakes! You can't get more villainous than that. http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2015/03/mainstream-media-calls-supporting-al-qaeda-isis.html

(Republished from Jane Stillwater's blog at http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-middle-east-best-soap-opera-wannabe.html)

Or can you?

According to journalist Daniel Lazare, "After years of hemming and hawing, the Obama administration has finally come clean about its goals in Syria. In the battle to overthrow Bashar al-Assad, it is siding with Al Qaeda." War Street, you've been busted as the Bad Guy -- and on national television too! http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article41742.htm

Or take Saudi Arabia -- another shining example of epic villain-a-lishious-ness at its best. That country has been playing the villain since way back in 1930 -- when it invaded the Republic of Yemen for the first time after Yemen actually dared to become a democracy. Then the Saudi regime went on to help America create Osama bin Ladin, finance the Taliban and dirty their hands with 9-11. And now the Saudi regime is financing and training ISIS. Doesn't get more juicy than that. http://www.veteranstoday.com/2015/04/27/saudi-security-forces-arrest-expel-over-174000-people-in-1-month/

No, wait, yes it does. The Saudi regime is now using American-supplied cluster bombs on Yemen. Juicy soap opera at its best, better even than TMZ -- unless of course you are living in Yemen. http://www.wsj.com/articles/saudi-led-coalition-accused-of-using-u-s-supplied-cluster-munitions-in-yemen-1430637102?tesla=y

And then there is Syria. What is going on there right now is even better than "One Life to Live". How many Americans even know who Bashar Assad is? The poor guy has a couple of corrupt, sleazy relatives that the Saudi, American, Turkish and Israeli regimes have spent the last four years trying to put into power. Why? Because power corrupts -- so Assad's relatives are already trained to be as corrupt as their sponsors. How "Dallas" can you get? https://consortiumnews.com/2015/04/27/syrias-nightmarish-narrative/

And of course Turkey is now in the mix too -- just can't keep its hands off of ISIS, the designated "fem fatale" in this reality show. But Turkey had better watch out. ISIS is a psychopath and Turkish citizens do not like President Erdo?an cheating on them and messing around with her instead. /node/4397

Or take Iraq -- the ultimate reality show. Outwit, outlast and outplay. Plus all the principle soap opera characters are there in Iraq too. You got the lying bitch (mostly America), the BFF (mostly Britain and France), the scheming scoundrel who will stop at nothing to get rich (mostly Bibi Netanyahu) and the struggling anti-hero (mostly Syrians trying to chase ISIS out of Syria) trying to thwart the Bad Guys (mostly ISIS, but with ISIS's secret suppliers Saudi Arabia, Israel, America and Turkey thrown in). http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/05/world/europe/fertilizer-also-suited-for-bombs-flows-to-isis-territory-from-turkey.html?_r=1

You just gotta love all that plotting, counter-plotting and backstabbing now taking place in the Middle East -- such as when General Sisi in Egypt overthrew a democratically-elected government in order to be America's date to the prom. Or when the Saudi Arabian regime, source of 9-11 and Osama bin Ladin, comes out smelling like a rose and being America's BFF. Or not.

You want action and drama? No problem there either. The Middle East has it all! America, NATO, Britain and France get together and bomb the crap out of Libya (for her own good), put Al Qaeda in charge of Libya for even more raping and pillaging fun (she asked for it) -- but then deserts fair Libya in her darkest hour of need. And even though Libya is not technically actually in the Middle East, you can still just sit back and watch the fun.

And ditto for Afghanistan. Lots of action, drama, lies and skullduggery there too -- even though it also is not technically located in the Middle East.

And now apparently ISIS (that tramp!) is also off having a hot illicit affair with the American-sponsored neo-Nazi Ukraine regime, also not in the Middle East -- but this new daytime drama may soon to be playing on European TV instead -- as ISIS slips off to gay Paree after dumping her thug boyfriend in Kiev. http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-isil-is-in-ukraine-americas-agents-of-chaos-unleashed-in-eurasia/5446989

Plus who wouldn't want to hear the exciting story about brave and heroic Palestinians fighting for their freedom -- only to be called angry sluts by the American media. Or how the brave and heroic Yemenis, fighting for their freedom, get bombed back to the Stone Age by the despotic Saudis who still somehow manage to come out as the Good Guys -- even after training and financing ISIS. How do they do that? How do they just keep getting away with that again and again? Will they ever get their comeuppance? Apparently not. But stay tuned.

And then there is the Israeli regime, staring as the "scheming patriarch" character, forcing America to do its dirty work so it can take over the Middle East. Bibi Netanyahu is like a Mafia don or the villain on "The Bold and the Beautiful" or "Dark Shadows" -- always scheming behind the scenes. He's like Angelique Bouchard or Sheila Carter. What's not to love about him?

Why would anybody who loves soap operas and/or reality shows, action movies or even murder-mysteries and thrillers even think of ever not keeping up with events in the Middle East? Entertainment at its best!

Too bad, however, that more than a million lives have been lost so far in these productions -- but, for Wall Street and War Street, that's just one of the costs of being in show business.

Video inside. Satire about double standards in international law and democracy, fake evidence, such as Ukraine 'proving' a Russian invasion, and Ukrainian media stories faking looting of a toy and a wedding ring. Relevant to Australia where all these wrongs have been promoted by our press, our primeminster and our minister for foreign affairs. This skit appeared in a regular program on mainstream German TV, amazingly. Can't imagine any real political criticism in Australian mainstream comedy these days.

Click on the small rectangular icon that has two horizontal lines in it to the right bottom of the video to get the English subtitles.

Johnny and Joanie were once the typical post-apocalyptic Stone Age couple. Each day was a tribulation. Minding the kids, fending off predators and raiders from adjacent tribes, hell, just putting food on the table were stressful enough. The versatile Tim Murray reaches out to new-agers everywhere in this article about personal adjustment in a time of advanced oil-depletion.

Our personal lives

Having marital difficulties?
Has the mindless pursuit of game and sustenance got you down?
Has the quest for more and more left you spiritually empty as the environment degrades around you?

Then you need to attend the Barney Rubble School of Sustainable Happiness (BRSSH)!

Johnny and Joanie were once the typical post-apocalyptic Stone Age couple. Each day was a tribulation. Minding the kids, fending off predators and raiders from adjacent tribes, hell, just putting food on the table were stressful enough. But worse was that feeling of spiritual vacuity that comes with the subconscious understanding that one's life in this dog-eat-dog stone-age world is simply not fulfilling. Like all couples in our society, Johnny and Joanie knew in their hearts that they were not happy, but they just couldn't put their finger on the reason. Some said it was "capitalism", some said it was the lack of renewable technology. But no answer seemed satisfactory. So naturally, they blamed each other. To Johnny, the reason that their marriage was falling apart was that Joanie was not "putting out". But for Joanie, it was always "our relationship". Johnny just never seemed to want to find the time to talk about, although, in his eyes it seemed that was ALL Joanie ever wanted to talk about.

At first they considered marriage counselling, but the shaman next door seemed like the very last person who you would want to confide in. The guy seemed like he lived a dream world. Always in delirium, going off in the wild for days of fasting, always seeking some hunger-induced vision, celibate, living alone----what the hell did he know about family dynamics?

Then they heard about “THE BARNEY RUBBLE SCHOOL OF SUSTAINABLE HAPPINESS”, and the workshops held by Mark Anielski. It seemed like an option that they couldn't pass up. So they enrolled, and boy were they glad they did! Now they live in connubial bliss as spiritual beings who just happen to live in material world----in it, but not “of” it. Who needs a GDP anyway?

http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=I4948713428353107&pid=1.1

Johnny (to the left), a hunter-gatherer in what used to be Wisconsin (a member of the “Walker” kinship group) testifies as to how the Barney Rubble School of Sustainable Happiness changed his outlook on life.

"I use to measure my happiness on the basis of how many dead carcasses I could bring home each week to the family, or how many skulls I could crack in encounter with a rival tribe, but thanks to the BRSSH, I now know that what is most important in life is to live at a subsistence level and come to enjoy it, knowing that in so doing, I am reducing my footprint so that the hunter gatherers of other tribes have enough to sustain themselves too...voluntary simplicity is what it’s all about, man. You gotta embrace destitution and grab what life doesn’t offer while you can. Ask any self-righteous green: pointless self-sacrifice gives you a big-time dopamine hit---trust me! It’s not about results, it’s about feeling good about yourself.”

http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=I4767624741126759&pid=1.1

Until she enrolled at BRSSH, Joanie (to the right) thought she could only be happy if she was grabbed by the hair and hauled away by a knuckle-dragger who would "bring home the bacon" and allow her to raise a big family in a big cave or hovel befitting her elevated status.

"Maybe it was just the time I was brought up in. As a stone age girl I was expected to fulfill the tribal dream. I was raised to believe that to be happy, I needed a brave man, I needed a caveman. After all, every red-blooded female hunter-gatherer wants someone she can always look up to. Someone who loves her of course, by letting her know that he's the boss. So before attending the Barney Rubble School of Sustainable Happiness, I wanted Johnny to get angry. I wanted Johnny to get mad. I wanted him to give me the biggest lecture I ever had."

But after graduation, she is brimming with sustainable happiness knowing that she her modest lifestyle is permitting other hunter-gatherers the ecological room they need to expand to push the limits and persist in equally miserable circumstances. "As the saying goes", Joanie explained, "if you can't change your situation---in my case, the situation of a living in a post-apocalyptic dead-end world that lacks the non-renewable resources to re-launch civilization---then change your attitude!"

"Before I went to the BRSSH I thought that suckling my kid while I was gathering berries and wood bugs for dinner, and wearing big necklaces of fake sabre tooth tiger teeth was the ticket to self-esteem and contentment. Now I realize that I can gain the same satisfaction by meditation and deep breathing exercises.....and I can do this without taxing the resources that future generations of no-hopers will depend on....people whom we must rely upon to carry the torch for a species that will never again create civilization or accomplish anything of significance....It is this vision of the future which gives me purpose in life."

Tim Murray, June 15, 2012

Dismayed

As an urban planner, I am dismayed at the negativity found in these archives and a myriad of other doom-saying blogs. I must believe---we must believe----that the future of our civilization lies in growing cities. In fact cities are the cradle of civilization---of art, science, music and literature, and the more citizens we pack into them the more vibrant and creative they become. Malthusian logic suffers from inconsistency and its prognostications lack an empirical foundation. Most of all, their gloom and doom verbiage is, at closer scrutiny, an exercise in deliberate obfuscation.

People, our greatest resource

I believe in people. People are our greatest resource. The more the merrier. We need more people to make our transportation system more efficient, our production runs longer and our costs-per-unit smaller. We need the collective brainpower that more people can give us so that we may solve the problems generated by population growth. We need more cultural diversity and less biological diversity. With more diverse people we can have more choices in our cuisine, and we can always enjoy the film-footage of extinct and endangered species threatened by the encroaching subdivisions built to accommodate our growing population as we eat from a buffet of Thai, Indian, African, Afghani and Spanish food. It is best to enjoy wildlife vicariously---no one wants to suffer the discomfort of off-road trekking and camping. More dim-sum, less undomesticated animals---sounds like a good bargain to me.

Growing the bottom line

Above all, we need more people to pay for the health and pension benefits of our growing aged population. And when these new people are finished their working careers paying for our growing aged population, we can import an even large base of people to support the people we brought here to pay for those aged people. Ad infinitum.

No Gain without Pain

Yes, admittedly, there are growing pains involved in growing our population. But those can be infinitely mitigated by the greatest panacea known to man---“planning”. Now, it used to be that planning was understood as something both pro-active and pre-emptive. A government decided what its urban boundaries would be and how many people would live within it, and planned accordingly. But of course, that antiquated notion gave way to the enlightened concept of laissez-faire growth. Urban planners and demographers now look at what the population is projected to be and then counsel government s to “plan” for it---as if a given growth rate or trend is something that cannot be challenged. Which of course it can be, but to do so would be racist, xenophobic and selfish. Those who attempt to control population growth are playing God—when the truth is God wants us to go forth and multiply, especially if some rival tribe, religious community or nation threatens to out-breed ours. Well, no worries. Governments now have the good sense to believe that growth is inevitable, so the only option is to channel it out of harm’s way. Now we can have “green” buildings, “green” development and “smart” growth. Growth without ecological impacts. It is time that Malthusians got smart too. It is time they shut up and left it to the experts.

Public Education a must

The problem, I feel, is in lack of communication. Emotive language must surrender to dispassionate discussion. Malthusians must chill out. They must understand that there are positive alternatives to a sustainable steady state society that lives within the means and absorptive capacity of the environment. We can grow the limits.

Use of language

Let me elaborate with more precision. We can inculcate end-to-end morphologies, re-tool ruderal users and reintermediate next generation podcasts. If we monetize peer-to-peer networking we can repurpose next-generation synergies and enhance out-of-the-box action items by targeting open-source partnerships and maximizing ubiquitous deliverables. Only by capturing turn-key metrics and synthesizing seamless channels can we expedite vertical ecologies. If successful, we will have delivered 24/7 platforms and revolutionized viral e-commerce.

Getting Agreement

In short, if we communicate with clarity then the omniscient vision that is exclusive to the planning profession can be imparted to the voting public who are ill-equipped to grasp the opportunities that await us in the broad, sunlit uplands of our cornucopian future. Let’s dispense with the clichés and speak plainly. If there is no hope, do not despair---we can manufacture it with the same ease that we can build the hundreds of nuclear reactors necessary to power the hundreds of desalination plants that will substitute for our dry river beds and reservoirs, as well as energize the solyent-green biscuit factories that will replace the farmland that lies beneath our sprawling suburbs.

You see, the future is not as bad as you thought. Just leave it to us.

B. Rees-Nable,
President,
Urban Planning Institute
Tim Murray, Vice President.